Stop selling kids short

As a digital nomad, I’ve spent this year in 5 different destinations around the world. Everywhere I go, I gain new insights into the work I do by seeing how other countries and cultures educate their kids.

Take, for example, the five weeks I recently spent in Japan. The schools there have no janitors. Instead, students clean up after themselves — they even clean the bathrooms. And this starts as early as kindergarten (yes, even the 5-year-olds clean up!).

You see this ethos reflected throughout the culture: at the 2022 World Cup, Japanese fans cleaned their own stadium after each of their team’s games.

This is just one of the ways Japan’s culture views kids differently than we do in the US. The assumption is that kids are capable of taking responsibility for cleaning up after themselves. 

It makes you wonder: if kids will rise to the occasion when it’s expected of them, where else are we selling our kids short? What else are they capable of?

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💡 Kids are capable of so much more than we think

We need to stop selling kids’ potential short.

Why it matters: Kids are taught that the highest possible achievement they can attain in childhood is getting top grades at their school. But we’re not teaching them that they have the potential to be world-class — in other words, the ability to be competitive in the larger landscape outside of their school.

We accept that kids can sometimes become world-class, but only in certain areas:

Like sports: think of Simone Biles winning two World Championship golds at just 16, or Ginwoo Onodera, Japan's youngest national skateboarding champion at age 12.

Or entertainment: think of child stars like Dakota Fanning who are expected to act at a professional level, or the huge list of K-pop idols who debuted their career at just 14.

But when it comes to other areas, like entrepreneurship or career interests, we tend to think kids aren’t capable.

But the truth is, kids don’t always need to wait until they’ve graduated college to start their career.

In fact, getting a head start does more than just help our kids get ahead.

It also gives our kids the ability to develop real-world skills that will serve them later in life.

Not to mention it gives them the chance to see if they actually like a job before they’re stuck with it (it’s a lot easier to switch careers in the safe playground of childhood versus after you’ve invested in a four-year degree in one industry).

The unconscious ways parents can hold their kids back

Most kids start life with big dreams. But at some point, they learn to let go of those dreams. Who teaches them to do that?

In the Disney-Pixar movie Soul, the main character tells his mom about his passion for music, and his mom tells him he should get a safer, more reliable job instead.

Parents don’t tell their kids to go the safe route because they don’t support their kids’ passions — it’s because they want to protect their kids from failure.

But even though this comes from a good place, it can hold our kids back from achieving their highest potential.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be an Olympic figure skater. And my mom told me this wasn’t realistic because there’s only one gold medal — and tens of thousands of people who want it.

Her intentions were good, but what I heard was: “you aren’t good enough to do it.”

My mom was trying to protect me from failure. And today, as my peers become parents, I see them do the same thing.

But I also see dozens of examples of kids in my work who have had success achieving Olympic-level endeavors, whether that’s growing a huge TikTok audience like Elle or building a world-class bike park like Rhett.

It’s not about the destination — it’s the journey. There are hundreds of motivational quotes that share this truth: When you shoot for the moon, you may not hit your target, but you’ll land among the stars.

If I had chased my dream of being an Olympian, who knows? Sure, I may not have become the next Michelle Kwan.

But I could have been myself — and I could’ve built a skating school, coached, performed in ice shows, or just built my own path.

By aiming big, kids will accomplish some pretty cool things as part of the journey. Sure, they might not achieve that big, crazy goal they had at first, but chasing such a big goal will certainly take them to some pretty cool places.

In the movie Rudy, our main character’s big, crazy dream is to play Notre Dame football. No one believes in him, but eventually with enough persistence and determination, he achieves his goal.

And even though achieving his goal doesn’t look how he thought it might, he ends up with some pretty great outcomes: namely, a degree from Notre Dame, a school most people never thought he’d be able to get into.

At BETA Camp, we’ve had kids who’ve spoken at the UN, raised over a million dollars in funding, or got into Stanford. And these weren’t necessarily the big goals they’d set for themselves — they’re just the side effects of being ambitious.

When we stop our kids from being ambitious, it’s true that we save them from feeling some of the sharp disappointment of failure. But we also cut them off from everything else — the chance to see what they’re made of, to grow, to challenge themselves, and to end up somewhere they didn’t expect (but that’s equally great).

How to help your kid believe they can do anything

Strive to be the parent who tells your kid, "You can do it…if you work for it."

Or even better, be the parent who says, "That’s not ambitious enough — you can accomplish so much more."

Hearing that a respected adult believes in you can change a kid’s life. Kids rise to the expectations that are given to them. They’re capable of big things, but only if you both believe it’s possible.

If you take nothing else away from this email, know that big goals in and of themselves are transformative. Whether or not your child becomes an Olympian or launches the next six-figure business before they turn 16, being ambitious and even just the act of trying to become world-class at something will put them miles ahead of their peers.

Our society does a great job of telling kids they can’t do big things. That’s why it’s up to parents to tell kids the opposite: that kids are capable of so much more.

🔥 DEMO DAY: Check out what BETA Camp students accomplished in just 4 weeks (next Friday, August 25th!)

🚀 Watch: How to help your kids build their network

This video covers the fundamentals of networking — a skill teens can use now to get bigger and better opportunities for themselves.

Watch it here.

Thanks for reading!

Until next time,

Ivy

CEO Prequel, BETA Camp, Apollo

Follow my journey on LinkedIn