How to teach your kid ownership (without getting in the way)

It’s easy to acknowledge the importance of giving kids ownership over their decisions.

It’s harder to actually do it.

Why?

Because parents (usually) know best, so it’s hard to watch kids make the wrong call, and suffer the consequences.

That’s a reasonable instinct.

But the best way to counter an instinct is with intention. You can’t always stop the urge to swoop in and help, but you can manufacture intentional scenarios where you force yourself to sit on your hands, and let your kid take the reins. 

Here are three that you can try this week:

1. CEO for a day

Imagine your kid running your household for a day, making all the decisions from what’s served for breakfast, to what time Rover goes for his daily walk.

Terrified?

You shouldn’t be. (Unless Rover has a small bladder). 😬

By giving your kid the title (and responsibility) of "CEO”, you’re trusting them to manage your family’s daily operations. 

This isn’t just a fun exercise — it’s a powerful way to teach them the weight of decision-making and the importance of considering everyone’s needs. 

Whether they choose to plan a family outing, or rearrange the living room, they’ll quickly learn that with power comes responsibility. 

The best part? They’ll see the direct results of their choices, so they can celebrate wins and suffer consequences in a safe environment.

2. Plan a surprise

Not ready to hand over an entire day to your kid?

Have them plan a surprise for a family member, like a birthday party or special dinner. 

Tasking them with this responsibility allows them to flex their creativity and organizational skills while understanding the importance of thoughtful gestures. 

With minimal adult help, they’ll need to consider everything from budgeting, to coordinating, to special details.

This not only empowers them — it also teaches them the joy of making someone else’s day special. Watching their hard work pay off will boost their confidence and reinforce their sense of ownership. 🥰 

3. Create a family newsletter

You probably keep your loved ones abreast of what’s happening in your family.

Maybe it’s on social media, through email, or good ol’ fashioned letters. Whatever the method, try handing that responsibility over to your kid for a while, and letting them be editor-in-chief of your family’s news.

This project allows them to exercise creativity while taking ownership of content that matters to the family. 

Whether it’s sharing updates, highlighting achievements, or even including fun sections like puzzles or recipes, they’re in control. 

Plus, it gives them a platform to express their voice, reinforcing the idea that their contributions are valuable.

Remember to embrace the “messy middle”

In all of these examples, it’s inevitable that your kid will hit a snag. 

But instead of jumping in with a quick fix, try stepping back and letting them wrestle with the issue. Encourage them to keep going, even if it’s not clear how things will pan out. 

This “messy middle” is where they learn perseverance and develop problem-solving skills. 

By resisting the urge to intervene, you’re teaching them that challenges are part of the process, not a signal to give up.