Negotiating is a superpower

Hand up if you’ve read Never Split the Difference by the FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss? ✋

If your hand isn’t up, go read it. It rocks.

The art of negotiation isn’t only relevant in boardrooms or high-stakes standoffs — it’s vital for the success of your kids

Today we’re going to unlock four top-tier negotiation strategies from Special Agent Voss.

Listen up.

1. The power of tactical empathy

👉 How you should use it—

In any negotiation, it’s important to understand the other party's emotions and perspective. 

When your kid refuses to eat their veggies, instead of a flat-out “do it or no dessert,” try empathizing. 

Say, "Looks like you're not enjoying those greens, huh?" This approach shows that you understand their point of view, opening up a channel for smoother communication. 

👉 Why you should teach it to your kid—

Empathy is vital for your kid to understand the feelings and perspectives of others. 

When they have a disagreement with a friend or teacher, walk them through the other person’s viewpoint. Developing this skill fosters deeper connections and resolves conflicts amicably.

Empathy is a cornerstone of effective communication. Whether in team projects, friendships, or family relationships, empathy leads to successful interactions and resolutions.

2. Mastering the “mirroring” technique:

👉 How you should use it—

This technique is simple yet powerful — repeat the last few words your child says, but as a question. 

If they say, "I don't want to do my homework now," you respond with, "Not do your homework now?" 

Mirroring encourages your kid to elaborate, and often leads them to solve their own problems. 

👉 Why you should teach it to your kid—

Mirroring encourages active listening and understanding in conversations. And it’s probably the easiest tactic to teach!

Mirroring is incredibly valuable in building a rapport and promoting open communication, which is essential in team dynamics, leadership roles, and even in building strong friendships.

3. The “accusation audit”:

👉 How you should use it—

Head off your kid’s complaints at the pass. 

If you know they're going to grumble about bedtime, start with, "You’re probably thinking I'm the meanest mom for sending you to bed now." 

This preempts the resistance and shows you understand their stance. It's like being a negotiation ninja, anticipating moves before they happen.

👉 Why you should teach it to your kid—

By teaching them to anticipate and address potential issues in their interactions, they’ll be pros at diffusing tensions before they escalate.

Being proactive in addressing concerns is a key leadership trait. It shows foresight and understanding, valuable in professional settings and personal relationships.

4. Labeling emotions:

👉 How you should use it—

Identify and label your child's emotions. "Seems like you're really frustrated with this math problem." 

Recognizing their feelings validates them and diffuses tension. It's like being an emotional detective, decoding hidden feelings.

👉 Why you should teach it to your kid—

By teaching them to recognize and label emotions in themselves and others, what you’re really teaching them is emotional intelligence.

This is an absolutely crucial skill in building empathy and understanding in relationships. 

Emotional intelligence is a key predictor of success in your kid’s personal and professional life. It enhances interpersonal skills and is vital in roles that require teamwork and collaboration.

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By using these tactics, you can help you turn those daily family standoffs into win-win situations.

By teaching these tactics to your kids, you’re equipping them with tools not just for today's playground squabbles or classroom debates, but for tomorrow's boardroom discussions and life challenges. 👊