How to define your own success

Happy Friday!

For this week’s newsletter, I wanted to share the story of Charlotte Marron, an exceptional BETA Camp alumni who has gone on to intern for bestselling poet Rupi Kaur, earn a full scholarship to the University of British Columbia, work as a producer alongside an award-winning filmmaker, and start her own media company.

She has tons of actionable advice to share for how you can help your kids achieve their big dreams, too - so, let’s dive in!

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💡 Charlotte’s Story — How to define your own success

Charlotte was part of the very first BETA Camp cohort during the summer of 2020. She loved learning about entrepreneurship with us, but she’d already been an entrepreneur for years when she joined — in fact, she started her first business at age 13!

But even though she already knew how to run a business, BETA camp felt like a new experience because she’d never been able to share her passion with other people her age before. Learning to work with a team and with her peers was one of her favorite parts of the program.

Now, she’s attending the University of British Columbia (on a full scholarship!). In between, she’s done incredible things (like interning for Rupi Kaur and managing a professional acting career). This summer, she’s not slowing down — she’s working as a producer and the Financial Director for an Emmy, BAFTA, and Peabody award-winning filmmaker, Sorious Samura. And she’ll apply everything she learns about the behind-the-scenes of the media industry to her own media business, Magic Messes.

With so many accomplishments under her belt at such a young age, I had lots of questions for Charlotte about what advice she would give to other kids — and to parents who want their kids to be just as courageous in pursuing their dreams as Charlotte is.

Here’s her top advice:

1. Model the mindset you want your kids to have.

“I was raised by a single mother who is a journalist and author,” says Charlotte. “Seeing her do mostly freelance work and having to develop novels from conception to completion, while pitching her work, has given me the perspective that we realize our own destiny, and we have to be ambitious and direct with what we want.”

The best way to help your kids believe they can do anything is by showing them how you overcome obstacles yourself. 

Do you set aside time to focus on your own goals and projects? Do you persist, even when things get tough? 

Be the kind of person you want your kids to emulate.

2. Help your kids find their own north star — no one else’s.

If your kids don’t know what success means to them, they’ll just do what’s expected of them. Ultimately, this will lead to them feeling lost and dissatisfied with their lives.

“Growing up, it was always a struggle to fit in. I was bullied a lot and spent most of my childhood feeling isolated,” says Charlotte. “Initially it felt like a limitation, but it quickly became a blessing to feel like an outsider. You’re almost obligated to go your own way — you know you can’t conform to the crowd because you never felt accepted there anyway.”

Charlotte’s experiences growing up made it easier for her to stop caring about what other people thought she should do — and instead value her own opinion of her life.

Ask your kids to think critically about the goals they set — are they setting those goals for themselves, or for others? 

A good rule of thumb is to guide your children to not seek external validation. If your kids are hoping their goal will make their life look better from the outside (to make their friends jealous, impress you, etc.), that’s a sign that their goals aren’t authentic and require redirection.

3. Focus on the first step above all else.

So let’s say your kids now have goals that are authentic, and they believe they’re capable of accomplishing them. What’s next?

According to Charlotte, taking that very first action is key. “No matter how many goals you set, it’s never going to go exactly the way you expect. As you go, you get a clearer picture of what you’re creating — it might start with one idea and morph into something else.”

Having a big vision for yourself is important, but Charlotte suggests that kids keep their focus nuclear. “Motivation is fickle when we’re only looking at the big picture, so just look at the next step. You don’t need to know exactly what the end project will look like.”

4. Be there to offer your support.

What is the best way for parents to support their kids in achieving their goals? By trying to see the world through their lens. 

“Don’t want things for your kids that they don’t want for themselves. Try to understand what’s ultimately fulfilling for them, and act from there,” says Charlotte.

And while Charlotte does think that kids need to be given the freedom to figure things out for themselves and make mistakes, they also benefit from having their parents’ guidance.

When she was younger, Charlotte wanted to quit one of her passions after a few hard moments. But her mom encouraged her not to give up — and now, she’s grateful she kept going.

5. Put your kids in environments with people who know more than them

Finally, Charlotte advises that you encourage kids to step outside of their comfort zone, especially if they’re used to always being the smartest person in the room.

When Charlotte got to university, she wanted to join a club. As a business major, she thought she’d join a business club — but then, she decided to join a club that builds rockets instead! 

Even though she knew nothing about building rockets, engineering, or even much about science, she was excited to learn from people who had different backgrounds and to challenge herself to take a different route.

“It was intimidating to go in there wanting to provide something, but knowing nothing about rockets,” says Charlotte. Still, she found a way to use her gifts to help the club (her marketing genius is coming in handy), and she’s not afraid to learn as she goes.

🚀 Ivy’s top links

Here’s what I’m reading and sharing this week!

• How to motivate lazy teens

• How to ask for advice (and make the most of it) — a skill that kids need to master

• The 6 skills that the rich teach their own kids, and how to teach them to your kids

• The tempting belief that kills most startups

Thanks for reading!

Until next time,

Ivy
CEO Prequel, BETA Camp, Apollo
Follow my journey on LinkedIn