Lessons from the world’s longest happiness study

Ask your kid:

“What are your most important life goals?”

If they’re anything like the millennials who were surveyed, they might list major life goals to be rich (80%) or famous (50%). 

But according to a Harvard study that has been running for 85 years, happiness has very little to do with either of those things.

A remarkable study

In 1938, a group of sophomores at Harvard College compiled a research group composed of their classmates and children from some of Boston’s poorest neighborhoods, totalling 725 young men.

President John F. Kennedy was even one of the participants.

All of the study participants took part in medical exams, answered questions about their emotional health, and allowed their home lives to be extensively documented.

Four generations of researchers have since carried the study forward, checking in with study participants every two years until their deaths with the same analytic vigor of the early years of the study.

The current study director, Dr. Robert Waldinger, has carried the study forward with the children of the original participants, with no end in sight.

⭐ BONUS — check out his TED Talk.

Why they found

The study’s findings have been surprising. Lucrative careers and major accomplishments had little influence on the health and happiness of the study’s subjects.

Instead, they discovered one universal truth:

Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.

3 key lessons

The study consistently revealed three key lessons that should always be kept in mind when guiding our kids:

1. Loneliness kills.

Participants who were socially connected to family, friends, and community were happier, healthier, and lived longer than others.

Loneliness, on the other hand, proved to be toxic. 

Those who were more isolated than they would like to be were less happy, and their health and brain functioning declined much sooner, causing them to live shorter lives.

2. It’s about the quality, not the quantity, of your relationships.

Just because you happen to be married, or have a large group of friends, does not mean you’re socially connected in a way that will benefit your longevity.

High-conflict relationships are very bad for our health, whereas supportive and protective relationships could be better for our health than even diet and exercise.

The healthiest study participants at age 80 had one thing in common at age 50 — they all reported high satisfaction with their relationships.

So it would appear that the most accurate predictor of future physical health is current relationship health. Wow.

3. Good relationships don’t just protect our bodies, they protect our brains.

The study discovered that people who were in a “securely attached” relationship in their 80’s had memories that stayed sharper for much longer.

Now, this didn’t mean they got along with their partners all the time. It means that when the going got tough, they could truly rely on one another.

As you help your kid set goals and plan their life, don’t forget this fundamental lesson: A good life is built with good relationships.