Kids need to ditch labels — for the sake of their future selves

It’s easy to put people in a box, but your kid isn’t just a "shy student" or a "math whiz" or a “jock”.

Harvard psychologist, Dr. Daniel Gilbert conducted an interesting experiment (outlined in his TED Talk) about why these labels seem so important to us in the moment, but rarely stick.

It’s called the “end of history illusion”.

In a nutshell, this means that we believe that who we are right now (no matter what our age is) is our “finished self”.

Dr. Gilbert put it simply: “Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished.”

Take a peek at the chart below:

Dr. Gilbert asked a group of study subjects of all ages how much they’ve changed in the last 10 years (the yellow line) and how much they think they’re going to change in the next 10 years (the purple line).

People reported dramatically changing over the last 10 years (with the highest rate of change occurring in the younger subjects), yet can’t imagine themselves changing much over the next 10 years.

This proves that:

1. We change a ton over our lifespan.

2. But we can’t imagine our future selves being any different from who we are today.

This inability to imagine our future selves can be a massive blocker for kids, who change far more rapidly than adults, and are also clinging to labels like a security blanket.

Here are a few things to try with your kid:

🗑️ Trash the current labels

Introduce your kid to this idea: 

“You’re not just who you are now. You’re also who you might become.” 

It's about seeing beyond the now, into the vast expanse of the 'could-be.' One way to do this is to train them to see short-term growth by measuring micro-progress and encouraging them to regularly look back. 

By repeatedly being reminded how much they’ve changed over a short period, it will be easier to imagine their future self in a more evolutionary way.

⭐ Aim for the stars

This one is pretty simple — help them set big goals. If their goals rock, they’re more likely to bust through their labels and get excited about their future.

📕 Write the story

Everyone’s story has three parts:

1. A past

2. A present

3. And a future

But the bulk of our attention is spent on the second part. 🙄

Have your kid sit down and write the story of their life. This will help them connect the dots between their past and their present, and better imagine their future.

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Imagining possibilities opens the door to a growth mindset. Arm your kid with the conviction that tomorrow holds limitless prospects, ripe for the taking. 👊