5 ways to motivate your kids

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We’ve got lots to tell you, so let’s dive right in. Here’s what you’ll get today:

💡 Valuable things kids don’t learn in school

⚡️ 2 short lessons

🚀 3 tools to boost your teen’s productivity

💡 Valuable things kids don’t learn in school

Motivating kids to do the things they need to do (like homework, passion projects, or even just cleaning their room) can be a challenge.

That’s why we need to teach our kids how to motivate themselves. Think about it: if we’re always nagging and micromanaging, our kids won’t learn the skills they need to motivate themselves when they’re off in the real world without their parents to guide them!

So how do we teach our kids to motivate themselves? And what if they seem to truly lack motivation? Here’s what to do:

5 ways to get your kid motivated (the right way!):

1. Focus on the process, not the outcome

If your kid is only ever chasing outcomes, they won’t be able to stay motivated throughout the process of completing their goals. 

But if they learn to love the process, then the journey becomes the reward — and staying motivated becomes much easier.

So, don’t just reward your teen for the outcomes you want — i.e. good grades, awards, etc. Instead, focus your praise on the effort and process — i.e. hard work, consistency, showing up. That will teach kids where they should focus their energy.

2. Give them more autonomy

The research has proven it — children of controlling parents who are told exactly what to do and when to do it are less creative, resourceful, and persistent. They do worse in school and struggle into adulthood. 

On the flip side, research has shown that having the power to affect your own life predicts better health, longevity, lower use of drugs and alcohol, lower stress, higher emotional well-being, greater motivation, better discipline, improved academic performance, and career success — which basically summarizes the list of all things parents want for their kids in life.

But how do we let go of the wheel if our kids seem unmotivated? What if they fail?

Stay involved and supportive — without being controlling. Don’t lower your expectations, just make it clear that you aren’t going to be the one to make them happen.

You can say, “I expect you to maintain a B average in school.” Then, as a family, decide what happens if your child doesn’t do that.

And instead of nagging them to study for a test, ask “What’s your plan?” Sometimes that’s all the support that kids need. It still gives them control over their lives, while also helping them think ahead.

And when your kid fails, let them pick themselves up and try again. This will build resilience.

3. Help your child believe in themselves

What’s something your child did well in the past (through their own effort)?

Where do they feel most confident? How did their efforts lead to that competence? 

Help your child see that the accomplishments they feel most proud of and the areas about themselves they feel the most confident are a direct result of their previous efforts. Which means that they have the power to feel confident, capable, and proud of their lives whenever they want.

Now ask them, what areas of your life do you want to improve? This can give them a sense of direction that will fuel their future efforts. Whenever their motivation lags, be there to remind them of why they started this in the first place.

4. Support your child’s relationships with others

Does your kid’s peer group encourage them to stay focused on their goals? Do they have a good relationship with one of their teachers or coaches who can also help them stay on track? Think of your child’s relationships as their support system — you, as their parent, are just one piece of the puzzle helping them stay motivated. Make sure the other pieces are in place.

If your child needs a better environment, find them a community or an activity where they can thrive.

Better yet, ask your child: what help do you need, and who can help you get it? The more they practice seeking out the help they need when they need it on their own, the better.

5. Connect to the “why”

Motivation is fickle. Even the things your kid does for fun will eventually stop feeling fun — but that doesn’t always mean they’re no longer worth doing.

So how do you keep your kid focused on their goal when things start to get tough? Remind them of their “why”. 

The “why” has to be connected to your kid’s personal values and goals. If they’re only studying for a test because you will get mad if they don’t, then their “why” isn’t very powerful. But if they’re studying for a test because they want to do well in school so they can go to a college they love, that’s much more motivating.

So, ask your child, what are their goals? What kind of person do they want to be someday, and what actions will help you get there?

The more your child can remember that their daily grind is getting them closer to those goals, the more motivated they will feel.

Parents - would you add anything to this list? We want to hear from you! Feel free to reply to this e-mail with your suggestions and feedback.

⚡️ 2 Tutorials

1. How to teach creativity to your kids (3 fail-proof activities)(link)

2. 3 proven public speaking techniques to help grow confident kids (link)

*You may have gotten a broken link in our previous email due to a scheduling error. We hope you enjoy these videos!

🚀 3 Tools To Boost Your Teen’s Productivity

P.S. This week, all of our featured AI tools were created by students!

1. A student-created virtual art gallery built with AI

2. Entertainment Hub — a suite of bots that can recommend movies, music, books, and TV shows

3. A podcast launched with the help of AI

Thanks for reading!

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Until next time,
Ivy
CEO Prequel, BETA Camp, Apollo
Follow my journey on LinkedIn