Empathy is about so much more than just being nice

Nice people are… nice.

No one wants their kid to be a jerk. 🤷

But developing empathy in kids has benefits that expand far beyond raising a kind kid.

High-performers don’t just get ahead because they’re smart, or work really hard. They dominate because they understand people.

They can read the room, navigate tricky social dynamics, and know exactly how to connect with anyone. That’s empathy in action. 

And let’s be real — if you want your kid to thrive, they need this skill, period. But it’s difficult to teach. 

So I dove into some research and found three science-backed tactics you can practice at home. 👇

Movie Night

Researcher Paul Zak, the Director of the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies, has proven that storytelling actually increases oxytocin — the "feel-good" hormone tied to empathy and trust. 

His experiments show that when we’re exposed to a good narrative, our brains light up like Christmas trees, helping us feel what the characters are going through. 

So how can you use this concept to teach empathy to your kid?

Easy —watch a movie. 🎬

Preferably one that is rich with emotional stories. 

(See if you can hold yourself together at the end of Old Yeller. I most certainly cannot. 😭)

Afterward, speak with your kid about how the characters felt and why they acted the way they did. 

Connecting the emotions directly to the actions of characters in a story is a great “test environment” for doing it in real life.

Take a new perspective

Developmental psychologist Martin Hoffman literally wrote the book on empathy development in children.

One of his key findings? 🔎

Perspective-taking is crucial — and role-playing is one of the best ways to practice this.

Create scenarios where your kid has to imagine what it’s like to be the new kid in school, the shy classmate, or even someone from a different culture.

Hoffman’s work shows that the more kids practice perspective-taking, the better they get at seeing the world through other people’s eyes — which is basically empathy on steroids. 💊

Model it

Show your kid how it’s done.

Studies by Albert Bandura on social learning theory suggest that kids learn by watching their parents (no pressure, right? 🙄). 

If you consistently show empathy — whether it’s listening to your partner after a rough day, helping a friend in need, or simply showing kindness to the barista who got your coffee wrong — your child will pick up on these behaviors. 

Narrate your empathy in action too. 🗣️

Say things like, “I bet she’s having a hard day, that’s why she might seem upset,” or “I can understand why he’s feeling that way.” 

By modeling it, you’re actively demonstrating what empathy looks like in the real world.

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Empathy is like a muscle, and with the right exercises, your kid can bulk up their emotional intelligence. 💪

It won’t happen overnight, but with a little patience and consistency, practicing empathy will help your kid become not just a more compassionate human, but a more successful one too.