How to *actually* help your kids build confidence

Did you know there are two types of confidence: social confidence (knowing your worth) and epistemic confidence (believing you’re right)?

The two types are perceived so differently that Benjamin Franklin learned early to show an abundance of social confidence and a deliberate lack of epistemic confidence.

He noticed people were more likely to reject his arguments when he used firm language like “certainly” and “undoubtedly,” so he instead chose to say, “I think…” or “If I’m not mistaken…”

Given his unforgettable place in history, we all know how that worked out for him!

📬 In today’s issue:

• The ONE key thing your kids need to start doing to build confidence

• Change this about your goals, and raise fearless, ambitious kids

• Your kids can launch their own startup in just a few weeks: here’s how

💡 How to actually help your kids build confidence: do hard things

Doing hard things is the single best way to build confidence.

Why it matters: Imagine how unstoppable your kids would be if they saw every difficult task as a challenge to overcome rather than a threat to avoid.

Where to start: I always get asked about whether I was scared to move to a new city or start a business. And I always answer, of course I was!

Before you’ve done hard things, you don’t know what you’re capable of.

But once I proved I could do one hard thing, I knew I could do bigger, harder things. Over time, my confidence grew.

Action step: The earlier our kids challenge themselves (and witness themselves overcoming obstacles), the better.

To do hard things, you must choose challenging goals. Here’s how.

The best goals are the ones that scare you a little bit — because accomplishing these will unleash loads of confidence.

Why it matters: Goals that get kids out of their comfort zone build resilience.

We all have to face our fears at some point. But if we’ve had a chance to learn what we’re made of before that happens, we’ll be more likely to thrive under pressure.

Don’t just take it from me: Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’”

Her advice? “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

What about failure? Parents often hesitate to let their kids set ambitious goals because they don’t want them to encounter failure.

But would you rather your kids grow up to be afraid of failure, or to see it as an opportunity to grow?

Kids who regularly face down their fears are able to take failure not as proof of some character defect, but as the result of not putting in enough effort or not knowing something — all of which they can change next time.

Action step: What goals have your kids set for themselves recently? How do they feel about those goals?

As parents, your role is to help your kids identify goals that land in that sweet spot between doable and ambitious: not so easy that they won’t get any confidence from completing it, but not so ambitious that they feel defeated before they even start.

Check out our Youtube video for more activities to do with your kids!

How building a business can give kids confidence:

As an entrepreneurship program, we’d be remiss not to point out that one of the best ways to build confidence is by launching a business.

Why it matters: Most of the kids in our programs go from “never having built a business before” to getting one off the ground in a matter of weeks — which takes courage, drive, and self-confidence.

Exposure to new opportunities: Prequel student Zoya says that her favorite part of our program was how it opened up her mind to new opportunities she wouldn’t have been exposed to during school — which gave her confidence in herself that she can achieve anything she sets her mind to.

Confidence in the business world: "I never thought that a 16-year-old high schooler could become an entrepreneur in a business world dominated by adults with degrees.” — Michelle, BETA Camp alumni

Working with others: “At Prequel, we're constantly put in situations where we have to work with new people,” says Prequel student Aayan. “We need to push each other if we want to maximize our potential."

Action step: Our next BETA Camp cohort for teens starts October 3, 2023. Sign up here. 

Don’t have a child in high school? Our inaugural BETA Camp Junior cohort for grades 6-8 kids starts in September! Sign up here.

Fun Fact: We ran BETA Camp Junior at Mindvalley University in Tallinn, and 25 kids aged 9-12 made a cumulative of 936 Euros in a 2-hour business fair.

The most innovative idea? Massages at 1 Euro per minute or a foot massage at 2 Euros per minute - price increases if you don’t have socks!

The team of 4 made over 250 euros because who doesn’t want a short massage break at a conference? Unlike other products with a minimum cost, like a 15 euro snack or a 5 euro bracelet, you can support this business with as little as 1 euro!

🚀 Community Highlights & Links

🤝 Networking for Kids: Tips and Fundamentals. Watch here.

🔥 If you want to raise entrepreneurial kids, school won’t cut it — as one student said, "School teaches you to be afraid of making mistakes, exploring, and trying new things.” Check out my speech on the Mindvalley stage in Estonia to dive deeper.

🎨 One of the student teams at BETA Camp has already made five sales for their startup SparkKit (which they launched in just a couple of weeks!). Their mission is to empower children with the tools and inspiration to explore their creativity, express themselves, and discover the joy of art. You can check out the website they built here.

Thanks for reading!

Until next time,
Ivy
CEO Prequel, BETA Camp, Apollo
Follow my journey on LinkedIn